Discover the 5 Lessons to Help Navigate Networking Events

I survived My First Networking Event in Years, and Lived to Tell About It

I stood outside the venue, palms sweating, debating whether to turn around and go home. It was my first networking event in years, and everything in me wanted to run.

You know that kind of scary where you dream you're standing naked on stage in front of a room full of people? That's exactly how networking events feel to me. They rank right up there with doing taxes and going to the dentist.

I hate small talk. I absolutely despise having to answer the same questions over and over to different people. But here's what I've realized: networking events are essential for human connection, meeting new people, and expanding our horizons. I used to be great at these events, but after the pandemic, I became less social and lost those essential skills.

Even talking to the cashier at the grocery store takes enormous effort now. I have to remind myself to make eye contact and smile while unhelpful thoughts race through my mind:

Am I being weird right now? What if they don't like me? Oh my god, I'm failing terribly at this. Get me out of here. Where's the closest exit?

Sound familiar? When I found this networking happy hour for women founders online, my first instinct was to avoid it. "It's not for me. It'll be a waste of time," I told myself. But my rational self knew better. I was missing community, and this could be it. I needed to put myself out there again, even though it felt scary.

Preparing for Battle

I decided to go, but first, I had to prepare. I found an outfit that made me feel confident and wouldn't wrinkle (one less thing to worry about). I practiced my elevator speech in the bathroom mirror because I knew the inevitable "So what do you do?" questions were coming.

Most importantly, I prepared deeper questions to ask others. Ones that would help us connect beyond surface-level small talk:

• What's one of your favorite restaurants in your neighborhood?

• What's been the highlight of your week so far?

• What's a personal passion project you're working on?

I also chose an event close to home. I knew my energy would already be spent getting pumped up and talking to strangers, so removing the barrier of travel made it easier to commit.

The Main Event

The day arrived. I gave myself a pep talk the entire walk to the venue, bringing all my emotions along for the ride—fear of uncertainty, anxiety of the unknown, pressure to perform, and excitement about potential connections.

I walked into an open room filled with people already mingling. I'd arrived about 15 minutes after the start time—not wanting to be first or last. After grabbing my name tag, I bolted to the nearest table for a drink. Having something in my hands always makes me feel less uncomfortable.

With my support system (a glass of wine) in hand, I nervously walked around the room. Luckily, I met my first person quickly. We locked eyes, and before she could say anything, I jumped in: "What's one of your favorite restaurants in your neighborhood?"

It was the perfect starter. We discovered which neighborhoods we each lived in and what we loved about them. I learned more about her values, including her preferences for ambiance, food, and restaurant character than I would have from just asking what she did for work. That question only reveals one small part of a person, and often it's just what they do for money, not what they're passionate about.

After that brief but meaningful interaction, I became more confident. I started walking up to people, introducing myself with my rehearsed elevator speech, and asking my prepared questions. Each conversation felt easier than the last.

One woman told me about her side project creating sustainable packaging for small businesses. Another shared her struggle with work-life balance as a new mom entrepreneur. These weren't networking conversations, they were human connections.

The Victory Lap

After two hours of socializing (plenty for me), I left feeling victorious. Something I'd been dreading became a source of accomplishment. I walked away with new contacts, phone numbers, and most importantly, a sense that I wasn't alone in this entrepreneurial journey.

Oh, and that profuse sweating I thought was from nerves? Another woman mentioned how hot the room was, and we both realized it wasn't just our anxiety. That small moment of shared experience made me feel even better about the whole event.

Five Essential Lessons to Help Navigate Networking Events

After reflecting on the experience, I realized these events taught me five crucial lessons for Navigating Networking events:

1. Shift Your Mindset

Stop thinking of them as "networking events" and start seeing them as "connection events." You're not there to collect business cards. You're there to practice essential human skills and meet interesting people.

2. Ignore Intrusive Thoughts

Those racing thoughts about what others think of you? Ignore them. Most people are thinking about themselves more than they're judging you. Let it go. It's not worth your energy.

3. Remove Unnecessary Barriers

Make attending as easy as possible. Choose events close to home. Pick your outfit in advance. Practice your introduction. The fewer decisions you have to make on the day, the more mental energy you'll have for actual connecting.

4. Learn Skills for Deeper Connections

These events help you practice curiosity by being open-minded and eager to learn about others. You develop active listening skills by really hearing what people say and asking thoughtful follow-up questions. You practice making eye contact and build resilience by putting yourself out there without fear of rejection.

5. Have a Support System

Whether it's a drink in hand, standing behind a table, or sitting down, find what makes you comfortable. Also, decide what kinds of connections you're looking for before you go. Having a clear goal makes you more focused and less lost.

Questions That Actually Connect

Here are some conversation starters that go beyond small talk:

• What's been the highlight of your day so far?

• What's something exciting you're working on right now?

• If you weren't here tonight, what would you be doing?

• How did you hear about this event?

• What's a personal passion project you're excited about?

Moving Forward

Six months ago, I would have made excuses to avoid this event. Now I'm planning my next one. The shift from "networking" to "connecting" changed everything. When we approach these events as opportunities to learn about others rather than perform for them, they become less scary and more meaningful.

The best part? Realizing that everyone else in that room was probably just as nervous as I was, and just as eager to make genuine connections. It's a great reminder that we're not alone in this journey.

Have you attended a connection event recently? I'd love to hear about your experience in the comments below!