The Art of Making Friends as Adults

A blank canvas is how all new beginnings start

Lessons from Drawing Class that Apply to Making Friends as Adults

Earlier this year, I enrolled in an art class series: Core Drawing for Beginners. Like any new student, I felt everything: fear, nervousness, anxiety, and excitement all swirling together.

I was excited to draw again, to reconnect with the younger version of myself who used to sketch for hours. But somewhere along the way, I lost touch with that part of me. Like many of us, I focused on other subjects in school, the ones that seemed to matter more, and art quietly faded into the background. Plus, getting a C in art class felt like a telling sign that maybe this wasn't the right path for me.

So it made sense that I was also terrified. I worried about being the worst in the class. I felt embarrassed at the thought of the teacher needing to help me, as if that wasn't their job. I was scared the teacher and other students might secretly judge my work.

The Universal Language of Self-Doubt

What surprised me most was realizing I wasn't alone in the self-judgment. No matter how talented the other students were (I couldn't believe some of them were in a beginners' class!), I heard the same things when I complimented their work:

"Ugh, no it's not." 

"Really? I don't think it's good." 

"I hate it."

That's when it occurred to me: we all carry self-doubt, no matter our skill level. That critical voice doesn't disappear just because we get better at something.

By the end of the course, I started to let go of expectations. I focused on showing up, learning, and creating something new. When I finished a piece, I felt proud. And not because it was the best, but because I stayed with it. I decided to be kind to myself through the process. Instead of leaving with tears in my eyes, I left each class with a smile.

The Art of Making Friends as Adults

Here's where it gets interesting: making new friends as adults requires the exact same skills I discovered in drawing class.

Think about it. When you meet someone new at an event or through Mixingle, you're essentially facing a blank canvas. You have to make the first mark, whether that is sending a text message suggesting to grab coffee, or proposing meeting up for an activity you both enjoy.

Just like in art class, friendship-building requires:

Humility: Accepting that you're a beginner at getting to know this person. You don't know their communication style, their schedule, or their interests yet.

Vulnerability: Putting yourself out there, knowing they might not respond or might not be available when you suggest meeting up.

Letting go of expectations: Maybe they can't do Tuesday coffee, but they're free for a weekend hike. Maybe they're not looking for a best friend, but they're excited about having someone to try that new restaurant with.

Self-compassion: If someone doesn't reply or isn't available, it doesn't mean you're not worthy of friendship. Just like a drawing that doesn't turn out as planned doesn't mean you're not an artist.

Making the First Mark

The hardest part of any drawing is making the first mark on that intimidating blank page. The same is true for friendships. Crafting that first message can feel daunting:

"Hey, it was so nice meeting you at the book club! Are you free Tuesday to grab coffee and continue our conversation? If not Tuesday, what day works better for you?"

Yes, they might not reply. That stings, just like when a drawing doesn't turn out how you imagined. But here's the thing: if we don't make the first mark, the page will always remain blank. If we don't send that message, we'll never know what friendship might have blossomed.

The Beginner's Mind

I was a student again, a beginner trying to learn something new. It takes courage to show up, again and again, to face a blank page and try. What's more scary and yet exciting than that?

With a little humility, self-compassion, and willingness to let go of expectations, we can all be students again. Whether we're learning to draw or learning to make new friends as adults, there's something beautiful about approaching life with a beginner's mind.

So here's my challenge to you: Put on that beginner mindset. Try a new skill, do something outside your comfort zone, send that message to someone new. Make that first mark on the canvas of friendship.

I dare you 😊

(And to show a little humility, here are some of my drawings throughout the class)